Join the Citabelles on The Good Life for their personal testimonies on how they each came to wear veils to Holy Mass and in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament.
Men of Greatness Vol 4 A continuation lecture series based on GC Dilsaver's Book The Three Marks of Manhood, we discuss A Husband's Love and Devotion for His Wife, Marital Procreativity, and the Humility of the Christian Ruler
Resurrecting Manhood Today How do we identify manhood today? More and more today the gender roles are being blurred. Yet society is demanding for a return of real men. In this exciting new series we identify where real manhood fits into society through his God-given role in Catholic marriage and the Catholic family.
The Good Life Here's our newest video series where the ladies share their experience living the God-centered roles of marriage and family. They call it The Good Life.
Decadence Alive We live in a culture of active moral decay. It surrounds us. What are we to do? As Catholics we are to live our faith and serve as a light to a world in darkness.
Husbands Love your Wives In St. Paul's writings, he tells wives to be submissive to their husbands, and he tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. This series discusses this command to husbands.
Just DadsBy virtue of his God-given role in the family the father is the head. He needs no degree, and need not be a theologian, just a dad. But he should be a "just" dad, he must be fair and lead his family unselfishly.
Feminist Lies The feminist agenda has sold our wives and daughters a bill of goods with lies promising a wonderful life of prosperity and fulfillment that almost always ends in frustration and anxiety, often resulting in divorce. Learn how to pick out these common lies.
Join the Citabelles on The Good Life for their personal testimonies on how they each came to wear veils to Holy Mass and in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament.
True manhood is marked by the ability to make and keep commitments. Of course the most significant of these commitments would be one that would last a lifetime, which would be a man’s commitment to his vocation—the priesthood, religious life, or marriage. This very trait is the one that is sorely needed in men today. How often do we hear about men falling down on commitments, being unfaithful to their wives or not doing the thing they said they would do?
At 45 years old, I am a member of Generation X. One of the marks that we are known for is a lack of commitment. Let’s look at some of the changes from previous generations where ours may have not been trained in an atmosphere of commitment:
You can probably think of others, but I think these are the most common. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making any excuses for us. But we as a society have to realize we reap what we sow.
Yes, this is the environment I grew up in. I was blessed to have a two-parent home, but I saw my share of lack of commitment all around me. The striking thing to me is the amount of selfishness that drives it all. The next thing I notice is that despite the selfish motives behind the lack of commitment, in the end the uncommitted one is still unhappy. What many fail to comprehend is the difference between misery and temporary discomfort.
Discomfort is a part of life. We are human; we get tired and weak. Donald Trump, well known real estate magnate and entrepreneur, said “your higher self lies outside your comfort zone.” This is what Christ calls us to, our higher self. Commitment causes us to keep moving forward in the face of pain or discomfort. Commitment causes us to work through difficulty in our relationships instead of ending them. It causes us to seek to understand our wives and their needs when they get in the way of our desires or selfishness. Commitment causes us to pass on doing things for ourselves to be present to our children and develop a relationship with them so that we can guide them on through life.
In the end, when we lay aside our selfishness out of commitment, we arrive at a place called contentment or joy. I remember Mother Angelica saying on her EWTN live show that happiness and pleasure are things of this world, but joy is heavenly, a spiritual experience. Christ said “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”(Matt 10:39) This is not to say that we are called to be miserable. We have to be true to ourselves and pursue that which will be truly fulfilling in the unique way God has made each of us. It is a call to maturity, a call away from the childish pursuits of pleasures toward responsible self-giving love. It is a call to make wise choices based on logic and reason and a rejection of making decisions based on emotion and desire.
Commitment takes time; it is not something that comes easy. But it lays the foundation for a solid and firm future. It is like the foundation of a building, of a home. This reminds us of what Christ said about being wise. Those who listened to His words and acted on them are like the wise man who built his house on rock; those who did not act on them were like a fool who built his house on sand. (cf Matt 7:24-27) Notice our Lord says the one who ACTS is the one who is wise. It is not sufficient to listen or to learn or to possess knowledge. We must ACT on it if we wish to be wise and not foolish.
Commitment requires action. It’s easy to talk a good show, but it takes a man to back up his words with action. Little boys tell stories full of fantasy about what they will do. Women pick up on this quickly. A boy tells her what she wants to hear in order to have his way with her. A wise woman will require him to prove himself to be a real man, to make a commitment to her, a lifetime commitment before she makes a commitment to him. The action of commitment doesn’t just last for a day or a week or a month. It continues for the required amount of time to meet the task. Sometimes that may be a year, sometimes 10 years, and yes, sometimes a lifetime.
So, it’s important to know what things we should make a commitment to and what things can stay open-ended. This requires us to make priorities in life.
God bless you+
When we talk about education here, like anything else, we bring it into the reality of the day-to-day life of a Catholic living within the moral and theological law of the Church established by Christ. Just based on my own observations knowing what the Church teaches and seeing how certain institutions with the “Catholic” label on them conduct their operations, some things just don’t seem to add up. Catholic education is one of those institutions. While many who are also perplexed and frustrated have resorted to homeschooling, I must say that many homeschooling families have me equally puzzled.
Let’s just start off with the basic teaching of which EVERYONE is aware: that married Catholics should be open to having children. Now be certain that it is understood here that it is precisely stated that way as there are numerous situations that are BEYOND the couple’s control that may cause them to have a limited number of children or none at all, meaning physiological/medical limitations. Of course we recognize that is not a choice the couple has made. But outside of that, what’s the common phrase on the street when someone sees a large family? “They must be ‘good’ Catholics.” So as common of an understanding as that is, I don’t feel that it’s necessary for me on this occasion to pull documents and reference them. Often when someone states this, it is to mean that the couple is being obedient to the Church’s teaching that artificial contraception is a moral evil and should always be avoided under the pain of mortal sin.
This begs the question as to whether or not this fact is even being taught in the Catholic schools. But beyond the mere stating of moral law, if it is taught, does the philosophy behind this teaching come out at all whatsoever? Again, just from the outside looking in, I’m a bit perplexed. The Church teaches us that children are a blessing from God. The love relationship between a man and his wife when carried out physically to its culmination can result in the generation of a new life with an immortal soul. How can any other vocation or calling (job), outside of the higher religious vocations, compare to this? Now the schools may be teaching it in a Catechism or religion class, but where do the students find evidence of that reality? If children are such a blessing shouldn’t we want them in abundance, more than material possessions? Please note the capital sin of avarice at this point. How often are the students, girls in particular but also boys, told that it is an “option,” which should be stated as preferred option, for a girl to grow up to be a full-time mother? Is this promoted at all whatsoever? Or do we go to religion class and hear about how you can’t use birth control and should be open to children, but the rest of the time are being railroaded into a career. This is the juncture at which we need to make distinctions between the girls and the boys. Is that done? I’m just asking. If so, what would be the parents’ reactions to something as counter-cultural as this? Would they find another place to have their children “educated” (indoctrinated)?
Of course if they did, that could be awfully confusing to the students as the teacher trying to teach this might actually be the one who is using contraception while her own child is at daycare. She (or he) may or may not be Catholic depending on the school. He or she may or may not be in a valid marriage. Wow, this “Catholic education” is really starting to get complicated if we think these things through. This isn’t your grandparents’ school that had boys and girls separated taught by religious brothers and sisters. Again, when the theology got sloppy in the 70’s and 80’s after the religious had all left in the 60’s, many parents resorted to homeschooling when they couldn’t get satisfactory results. Now many of them are trying to impress the world by sending their daughters to college and proposing careers to them. If homeschooling was such a great idea for these parents, why wouldn’t it be equally great for their kids and grandkids?
Homeschooling is the most conducive role for a wife being the primary educator, as the Church teaches us parents are, while still being open to life and having an abundance of children if that is God’s Will for that couple. Again, He should be the one in CONTROL of this, not the couple. The couple should be focused on the love they share and allowing God to work in their marriage to do His Will mainly by bringing babies into the world. Why would a mother teaching other people’s children be seen as a higher calling that her educating her own as the Church teaches us we are to do? Is it only because it produces a paycheck and is applauded by society? Who is going to care for the children, and how can she continue to have more children while she works?
I become even more perplexed when I hear one of the few Catholic girls’ schools remaining proclaim that they are training the leaders of tomorrow. Really? Are they promoting that these girls enter convents to practice this leadership? Or are they erroneously training them to be the leaders of their homes? Was submission removed from the Bible? The same goes with Catholic universities and colleges. Their doors are open to women preparing them for careers outside the home, which will often conflict with bearing children and require contraception and/or sterilization in order to maintain.
So when we raise these issues people warn us that we are not “going along” with today’s Catholic education as they see the co-ed Catholic colleges and read the documents of the Church esteeming the exalted merits of education. But this is not the education that the Church promotes. She never intended for women to purposely go into careers that would conflict with their marriages and family. This is the disconnect between that concept of “education” and the reality of the day to day life of a Catholic. If we stop and think about this, it may be no wonder to us why Catholics thumb their noses at the Church’s moral law. The Catholic institutions themselves aren’t doing their job in reinforcing it.God bless you+
A quality that men generally have been granted by God is that of focus. Men tend to be able to “compartmentalize” their lives and activities and this makes for some very productive time in the areas where our time is spent.
We all possess a certain degree of focus, but if it is not cultivated and preserved, it can be diminished, possibly severely. We can nurture our focus by sticking with the activity or task that is currently our duty. Let’s face it, as men we wear a lot of hats. Over the course of a day, we can be a husband, a father, a friend, a worker, a boss, a leader, a disciple, an athlete, you get the picture. By covering so many bases, oftentimes our minds can get pulled into those other things we’re involved with rather than the task at hand. The thing to do at these times is to catch ourselves and consciously focus our minds back to what we’re doing. It’s the old “be where you are” idea.
According to Jim Fannin, the most successful of people, athletes, businessmen, executives, investors, etc. have a great sense of focus. In his program The 90-Second Rule, he trains his audience on how to develop this focus. One particular aspect of it that was a revelation to me was that these superstars have fewer thoughts than most people, much fewer. The techniques he teaches in his program equip the audience to reduce the number of thoughts they have in order to develop a sharper focus.
To get completely focused on an activity, we should shut everything else out. This isn’t to say that we are unconcerned with our other responsibilities like our families or with our obligation to worship God. It is by diligently and adequately carrying out our life’s duties that we fulfill our family responsibilities and give glory to God. I remember a plaque on the wall of the high school field house that said “What I am is God’s gift to me. What I make of myself is my gift to God.” So, when we’re at work for instance, we close the door on our family life, our hobbies, our Church obligations, etc. and we immerse ourselves completely on the task at hand. If there is an emergency that requires our attention, we will be informed about it. We don’t have to be constantly on the lookout for something possibly going on. We shut everything out and focus on the task at hand.
It’s very much like when we are in Mass, and God wants our complete focus on Him. We shouldn’t be fixing the plumbing problem at home in our minds or getting that project out at the office. While at Mass, it should be our refuge, our sanctuary to leave behind that which is temporal and focus on the eternal. It’s our time to get centered and to remind ourselves of what is the utmost in importance. Once we do this it helps to prioritize and reorder all the other things we have to do. This is why Mass is so important. It helps us to refocus. We can fool ourselves into thinking that we don’t have time or that we can do it ourselves. We think if we can just apply ourselves a bit longer we’ll be able to get so much more ahead. But how often have we done that and wasted our time? How often have we stepped away from the grind and went to Mass to be refreshed and recharged and returned to be a much more efficient and productive worker? We can all get wrapped up in what we’re doing and neglect our responsibilities. That’s not focus; that’s indulgence.
It’s a pretty common view that there is a tremendous underutilization of one of our society’s most powerful resources: men. How often do we hear about men being passive or absent or lazy or disinterested? I have another question: Isn’t this exactly what the feminist movement wants? Of course the knee-jerk reply to that is that all the feminists want is equality. That may have been the case at the onset, but that has been achieved, much to the detriment of our society to the extent it involves removing mothers from the home who have children to raise and care for. Regardless, it has been achieved. Women can and do occupy any and every position men do in our society. So, why haven’t the feminists claimed victory and closed up shop and gone down to the neighborhood bar to have a beer and celebrate like men would? Because they need to perpetuate themselves much like labor unions who had a place at one time in the business sector but are no longer necessary.
I don’t think you’re going to hear much from feminists about men not carrying their weight. The feminists have men right where they want them: being politically correct and silent about women pretty much doing anything they want even if it’s harmful to family and children. Women who are trying to march to their orders are the ones who are complaining. Many of these are good Catholic women doing whatever everyone else is doing not discouraged by their Priests or Church communities yet trying to figure out why their lives aren’t so hunky-dory as the stealthily led feminist organizations promised them they would be. These are the ones who wish the men in their lives, mainly their husbands, are not more engaged and aggressive in their pursuits.
While there is a whole industry of social scientists (who are very well paid to come up with their theories) who are trying to research these phenomena, I would like to state the obvious as to why these men behave in such a passive manner: Because they can. I have observed that men generally will rise to the level that is required and no higher. If we consider when may have been more valiant or virtuous, we may start to wonder what was the difference between the men at that time and men now. Did they have a different bone structure or a better diet or more advanced mental capabilities? Let’s take the men of World War II or any significant military event. How did these men act with such courage? They were required to. How about men of the great depression? They were required to. How about men during the westward expansion? They had to.
Due to the feminist agenda, women can do any job a man can do. So men aren’t required to do any more than they do. They can play games and watch sports and play fantasy sports because their wives take care of the household chores and pay the bills as well. So if any women are wondering why their husbands aren’t more in tune with things or more passionate about anything but football, you may have bought the feminist program and didn’t realize it.
As Fr. Paul Marx noted if we look at all of the great discoveries and inventions throughout history, we will find that men have made them. (I often add my two cents that women then put shrubs around them.) Yet only women have the ability to bring forth the greatest of all creation, another human being. But feminists have indoctrinated women to claim that this is abusive and they shouldn’t be used as “brood mares." So they go out and satisfy a lower calling of working for a paycheck instead, all the while believing they are doing good by serving others “using their God-given abilities.” As GK Chesterton observed they claimed “I will not be dictated to” then went off to become stenographers. The problem is once they reach their 40s and 50s they see that the greatest thing they could have done with their lives has passed them by, and they are no longer interested in this emotionally dramatized career they now have.
I have also observed that when men are required to carry the load in a family while their wives stay home and bear and care for children, they do. A young lady wrote in last week in reaction to our last article saying that she is going to college to have a career not so much because of the possibility of abandonment but “just in case” the man she eventually marries becomes sick or dies. Apparently she wasn’t taught that there is inexpensive insurance for both of those possibilities that responsible young families should have (instead of trips to Disneyworld). Her question shows how effective the feminist movement has been at indoctrination. The undertone there is that the man just can’t handle it. He WILL require help. So it’s often a self-fulfilling concern. The man marries a lady with a good steady income, and he’s set. He can coast. It happens all the time.
But men are capable of so much more when they are required to be. It’s time to wake up this sleeping giant in our culture and get it engaged. There is way too much power on the sidelines not being used. Due to affirmative action and EEOC policies many large corporations require that so many women fill certain positions or that purchases be made from women-owned businesses. What happens when there is a man who is better qualified at filling these needs? He is pushed to the sideline or is left at a lower position and never realizes his potential.
If we wonder why we are not moving forward as a society and as a country and as a participant in the worldwide economy we may want to consider these very facts. We may want to look at the leaders in the worldwide economy to see what their sociological makeup is like. Look at the accomplishments of men throughout history, and look at them today and ask yourself why there is a difference, if you dare.
God bless you+